Today I visited an aunt that I haven’t seen for a few years - it made me a little sad and I was shocked to see how she had aged so much, her husband also has given in to old age and along with the physical deterioration there was extreme worry and anxiety present - Was this a fear of an impending death or worry that they will become a burden? This got me thinking about how I view ageing and whether I am paying enough attention to who I am regarding death, then I realised that the whole time I am worrying about what’s to come am I am actually missing what is here now... I realised in that moment that ageing is inevitable and one day I will die, but what is contributing to my early ageing/death is my acceptance and allowance of my thoughts and beliefs about myself and others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and worry that I am going to become old and infirm and within this I will need others to take care of me. I see realise and understand how by worrying about this as a future outcome will focus my attention on it and in many ways create this as a reality through putting all of my attention to it. I commit myself to drop the fear of future outcomes and focus on each moment that I am alive, so that I don’t miss a heartbeat. Each and every time I catch myself ( when I fall) I stop and breathe and remind myself of the above.