Why do many people after reaching home, sit in the car alone for a long time?
One of the answers that I liked,
A lot of times I don't want to get off because it's a demarcation point. Opening the door, you are the father, you are the son, you are the husband, but you do not belong to you.
In the car, you want to be quiet, smoke a cigarette, this body belongs to you.
I believe that many people will have such an experience, facing the world's hustle and bustle, there is always a moment that you want to be quiet and empty yourself.
Perhaps someone would ask, will you not feel lonely when you are alone?
But in fact, alone is not to ask you completely give up your social, if you are doing everything alone, then that is autistic, also lost the meaning of being alone.
Being alone in this fast-paced world allows people to give themselves some time to do what they want to do, not blindly grouping together and not knowing how to refuse.
If you ask why people need to be alone? I think it's probably about finding my true self in this alone time, listening to the real voice of my heart, and growing myself up quickly.
Growing up, we turned from a parent's child to a child’s parent, turned to become someone else's husband/wife, turned to become the boss/employee of the company…
Society has given us too many new identities, and we need to cater to the joys and sorrows of many around us and shoulder the expectations of ourselves.
So we gradually put away that carefree self, in order not to let everyone down, careful, even breakdown is quiet, pretend to be strong again the next day. Therefore, we often lose our way and forget who we really are.
Many times, we always think that as long as we follow everyone's pace, we will not be confused.
But the reality is that the more you are in a busy city, the easier it is to be confused.
Leaving some time to be alone will help you find your true self.
A famous writer, Murakami, likes to be alone.
He gets up at five o'clock in the morning and goes to bed before ten o'clock at night.
During the day, the hours in the morning are the most active of his body, so he will concentrate on the important work during that time.
The time that follows, either for sports or for chores, take care of tasks that don't require high concentration.
At dusk, he will go swimming, read a book, listen to music, relax his spirits, and try to go to bed early.
This life seems lonely, but he enjoys it, and efficiently finished writing many masterpieces.
In fact, there is the joy of being in a group and is also the beauty of being alone. Unfortunately, many people do not know the value of being alone.
We can't wait to enter the society, but often forget ourselves in the red-green light.
However, these alone times will not separate you from society but will increase your gap with others.
The alone time, help to see yourself clearer; This time is far from the world, pure, help to discard all distractions; This time is rational, helps to find yourself.
Being alone is to be able to hear the real voice inside you.
People live in this world will have many troubles. When you feel burdened with something, whether you have ever sought comfort, also thought that to consult your professor, ask a friend for help, you can solve all the problems.
But in fact, the world does not have so many empathies, many times, other than yourselves, no one can really know your own real voice.
I have experienced some burden, frustration, annoyance during work, and confusion in life. At that time, my first thought is to find friends around for help, trying to sum up the answer from everyone's ideas.
It is true that the friend's suggestion did make me feel a lot of relief at the time, but once I left my friend, I couldn't help but be confused when I faced it alone.
At that time, I thought that I depend on friends too much. Only later found that, in fact, because I do not give it a serious thought.
The advice that my friend gave, although can comfort me for a while, but when I face the trouble alone, the inner doubts in me will be reborn.
Although some things others can give advice, but the final answer is up to you to understand.
In fact, everyone should go through alone time.
Being alone will let us calm down and think deeply, let us have the opportunity to get away from the hustle and bustle to find a piece of clean soil, let us carry out self-purification, let us listen to our own true voice.
When we were young, we could rely on our parents when we were in trouble, and when we went to school, we could consult our teachers when we were troubled.
But as an adult, no matter what happens, most of the time, we can only rely on ourselves. Of course, this is not a bad thing.
Because a person, only when alone, can quietly face their own heart, take a good look at themselves, so that the heart has enough space and purification time. It is the test of growth, is the only way to mature.
In life, we may receive a lot of outside comments about ourselves. We will also be joy or sorrow because of these comments.
But we need to know that those comments are given by others through subjective ideas, as to what we were like, only we know the most.
After all, we will not become excellent because of others' praise, nor because of their criticism.
But we can get to know ourselves again in these alone time.
In fact, being alone, you do not have to please anyone, do not have to do things that you don’t like.
You can put aside all the locks and shackles that the outside world has given you and be free to be yourself.
Being alone, in a way, is a positive process of self-growth.
It lets you know who you are, what you want to do and be determined to do what you want to do.
Therefore, many times, we do not have to be afraid to be alone but learn to be alone, enjoy being alone, and promote self-positive growth through being alone.
We don't have to force ourselves to be alone, but we need to be alone.
In fact, alone time can let oneself calm down, sink down, your life path may become more vast.
So back to the question, why do people need to be alone?
I think, in order to be able to find their true self, in order to be able to listen to their own inner real voice, in order to be able to grow up quickly.