What is love?


This is my entry to Qurator's "Monday Missions entry".

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I wish I had something to write about if it comes to "Valentine's Day".

It is no custom to celebrate it in the Netherlands so most people don't.
The first time I heard about its existence was over 40 years ago. I read a short article in the teenager's magazine of my sister as I stood on the schoolyard.
They only mentioned it was about " sending a card anonymous to the one you love."
That was not really of my interest neither was having a relationship. It was not that boys didn't like me but my home situation wasn't one that you like to share with the outside world.

Celebrations at our house were seldom a celebration.
It was more about being punished for feeling happy, beaten up and next you had to smile to the visitors or say "thank you" for the gift you hated.

"You cannot give what you don't have", they say.
I have no idea who "they" are but the thing I know is that if you start living by what others say or think it is not motivating to give it a try, live at all.

Valentine's day is not important to me.
This day is not an exception. I feel the same about Mother's day. If you need a special day to prove you care or love someone or are grateful there's something wrong with you!
If you make scenes because the love of your life didn't buy you what you had in mind you have a serious problem, so have you if you get into debts to buy something.

How many days, next to your birthday, do you need to fill that empty hole inside of you?

To receive proof someone cares about you?
Many of you celebrate birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Eastern or you have Ramadan and big parties afterward, wedding parties that do not come to an end. You stuff yourself, are surrounded by people who care about you, like you, pamper you but you are not happy, not even satisfied!
I wonder how come so many eyes are cried off and the empty feeling holding hands with dissatisfaction remains even after being pampered.

Valentine's Day is not the day in the year to prove you love someone.
Each day of the year you have to work on a relationship. No matter if it is with your parents, partner, children, friends, the neighbors or here.

Ask yourself what your life would look like without Valentine's Day, a love of your life, a person that provides in your needs, if that gift is really necessary or a hug, good laugh, quality time together and a friend for life, a bond through the year do not proof more.

Do we celebrate?

To us birthdays are important. Especially a child's birthday. It is good to know people are happy you exist, are around. It is healthy to be in the center of attention once a year. It is not something meant for the rich and famous only. Once a year say what you like to eat, blow the candles on your pie... even if there's no birthday party with visitors.

We celebrate December 5th and save the whole year to realize it.
It's still a celebration with the entire family and we make a part of the presents ourselves.

Christmas we do not celebrate.
We are not Christians. No presents, no dinner, no visits, no visitors. It's pajamas day and movie time.

Eastern with us is good for the eggs.
No egg search any longer but a chocolate egg is in it for each of us.

Valentine's day 2020?
It will not be special. There's no need to. We stay with those we like most. In this case me and my children. No stress from outsiders, no expectations and no unsatisfied faces either.
Might be I buy my children something or I bake a cake. I have enough in stock to make something they like or we eat the "mergpijpen" I saved for brightening up a day once in a while, just to give them the bit extra they deserve. My children do not have an easy life but at least they are not spoiled, are satisfied and happy with what you give them. Candies, sweeties, cookies, potato chips, junk food are no part of our groceries. They still say "thank you" if I give them some tea or something to eat.

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Comments 12


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11.02.2020 09:39
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Thank you very much. I highly appreciate it. 💕

11.02.2020 09:41
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Although I think very similar to what you write, I celebrate every day anything: Christmas in February or July, Valentine in October, I celebrate living every day and I share everything I can with family and friends. Any day is good to celebrate that it is a good day to celebrate anything :)
A fraternal hug in the distance, @wakeupkitty

Ps: I am taking advantage of the delegation granted to me to vote some publications 100% :)

11.02.2020 11:44
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This is how it should be. The best party is the unexpected one and we should celebrate if we feel to it not if we are forced by society or commercials.

Enjoy your day, blessings for you and your wife and thank you for the vote. 💕

11.02.2020 12:19
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I think it's just a matter of convenience. If you have a large extended family everybody has their personal plans and it's hard to get everyone in one place at a certain time. Holidays are just a pretext or a time beacon, allowing everybody to arrange their business schedule to get together in the same place at the same time. )))

11.02.2020 18:16
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If it is important you are together no matter how busy you are or how big a family is. If you do not care or prefer to stay home you will never find the time. I think.we are not busy for real. Busy these days is watching tv and mainly commercials and computer/cell phone. We have a luxury life with all kind of machines helping us out...we just think and say we are busy. Happy day 💕

12.02.2020 11:33
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That is not actually true. That's what holidays are for. Everybody who is otherwise busy with their own business or school makes a time mark in their busy schedule. My son now goes to a university in another city 220 miles away. On holidays he drives home, which he cannot do on a regular basis. My other son lives on another side of the country, near another ocean. He only comes for Christmas. Sometimes, for a wedding, we can go to another city or even to another country. But we cannot do this every day. Have a great day! )

12.02.2020 14:57
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@mgaft1 I did not say it has or can be done on a daily basis. I talk about commitment, love to share time with eachother. There are plenty of people who do not like to share their holidays with family rather stay home and watch t.v.
I mean to say this is about the will to commit and many do not have that will or need. No matter if it is family, friends or...

I need to cross 4 countries to visit my children and I do so several times a year. No matter if I am busy or ill or tired and have to sleep in my car get out broke and overtired and it cost my more money as I can afford.

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16.02.2020 14:35
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Great! I take my hat out for you for such dedication. I only disagree about the commitment part. It should be driven by pleasure. There is no one out there I want rather see than my children and a long road to them is justified by the joy of seeing them. There is no need to meet someone if you don't feel a sincere desire to see them. Holidays are the assigned time when we can say "Oh, good. Let's forget all the troubles and business. The problems will always find their ways into our lives. But for now, let's abstract from them and enjoy each other's company" )

16.02.2020 16:19
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I have nothing to add to that except I am glad internet does exist. This way we can have daily contact. Enjoy your day and if you have it your holiday. 💕

16.02.2020 16:43
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Likewise! It is enjoyable to talk to you!

16.02.2020 18:15
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Thank you for being a member. We gave you an upvote. Greetings @team-ccc.

13.02.2020 07:31
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