Saturday, May 2, 2020 - My final letter

I decided to write my penpal the final letter.

Soon he will be a free man again and end up in a free world where a lockdown is a fact and if no lockdown a social distance society. I assume it will not be that hard on him since it's always more freedom as the lockdown in prison or... the hole.

It's still a mystery to me how long it takes till an e-mail is delivered. It needs to be read and approved first plus I have no idea if he receives a message if it's there.
I once wrote with one who got them printed out. I have strong doubts long letters are approved. I never had a respond on any of them. I think they keep them behind.

This is one of the few prisoners I didn't do much for.
Most want you to do this or that, send them info or drawings for tattoos, study books, etc but although they claim they need it they never used it. I doubt you can build a relationship with them. After ten years writing with inmates I should say you can not. It's all for the time being, as long as you benefit them after that you can drop dead. If this is fine with you, this is the penpal for you.

One of them wrote me he got married.
I wonder if this can only happen in America. How can someone in death row, without money, find a woman, financial independant, mad enough to move to an other state, to a house nearby a prison and get married to an inmate?

"She doesn't mind I am in prison and will never get out", he told me.

I wouldn't mind either, you have some securities this way. You know where he hides and you can live your own life the way you like it. Who knows to some it is a kick to be married to an inmate and know he depends on you too.

Anyway I wrote my last letter to the last inmate I wrote with.
In 5 days he will be home or go home, his brother's home. Time to start a life, find a job and build a future.

"I never want to come back here", he wrote.

It made me wonder. Not only what happened over there but also why someone thinks he might be back in prison again. It would be the last thing that would pop up in my mind. It's really not that difficult to live an invisible life. Many people do so, are hardly seen,noticed, heard. You do not need to be an elderly person to be unnoticed by the society.

It's clear something goes on and hopefully nothing goes wrong.

"I try to keep quiet if they know I go home soon I'll be molested and they make my life miserable."

Instead of your fellow inmates being happy for you they rather break your neck? No guards?
This all has nothing to do with the Coronavirus. The prison has only 17 infected, no visitors, face masks are required and they get two meals a day which is enough if you do nothing.

"They are so noisy, always shouting, bragging. I start thinking it's in their DNA."

True he makes me laugh out loud with that remark. I know the types he describes and so do my children. Is it a DNA thing. Shouting, always being so loud? It's a good thing to discus with the children. No,itsnot a DNA thing because we know plenty of people who never shout, do not feel the need to be heard by the entire world.

"If you grow up in a noisy society where everbody is loud, shouts and hopes to be heard, it's normal to shout yourself. It's a lack of education."

My last letter isn't my last one since I receive one from him.
I doubt it's an answer on my later. Okay, he lost my info and asks if I am on facebook. Facebook? 😮.

"I am not saying I am going back here but if anyone does something to my female relatives..."

An uncomfortable feeling comes over me.
These words remind me of an inmate I wrote with. He ended up in jail because he killed the guy who molested and killed the woman (a prostitute) who take care of him as a young boy. To him she was his mother, his world, his future everything. His dream was to be a writer. I typed his long handwritten stories during the weekends. They were boring but not the reason why I broke up with him. His temper was something for sure he had to work on. Hos temper and his attitude against women he saw as his property.

Like said I wrote my final letter.
It's time to say goodbye to the world of penpals and do something new. Something for me for a change.

Published today (Saturday, May 2, 2020)

Published yesterday (Friday, May 1st, 2020)

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Comments 4

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04.05.2020 14:34

This is very interesting - I think you find some weird people writing and guess the writing can be a bit disturbing some times like you say - I think if you want penpal in jail, you must not be the type to feel sorry or get emotionally involved. There are so many women that are obsessed with inmates and want to marry them... I find that very odd.

05.05.2020 07:43

They for sure try to manipulate you in every way. If you refuse there are who really become mad. It's good they are all overseas and there's no need to give your home address or e-mail address these days.

It still beats me how you can get married in prison so easily. How you can get married easily at all. In the Netherlands they ask you for all kinds of papers, they check you out, you have to wait after that at least two weeks and you can not get married everywhere you like or with whom you like.

Perhaps the obsession is the same as having a special pet? Something else as most people have?

05.05.2020 08:14

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09.05.2020 08:22