If I think about gifts I hear my granny say "There's no need to give me anything, I cannot take it with me into my grave anyway." As she died she left things behind but did not leave me anything. I assume her youngest took everything in the same way he took (abused) her for the biggest part of her life.
At the moment she said those words I didn't know what to think.
I was a little girl, my father told me to buy her some flowers (I bought a plant) because she agreed to have me during school vacation. I held the plant and didn't know how to respond.
My granny didn't care about the plant I bought her, she didn't care about gifts.
I can not remember I ever received a gift I asked for.
If it comes to the people who gave me a present it was always something they liked or they thought I might like it because others my age did. I did not. I forced myself to say thanks, tried to look happy (and failed so got beaten up) but cried inside. Bad gifts are a sign to me people do not know me, do not care about me at all.
Do I need gifts?
The answer these days is no. Just like my granny, I am the one now who says "I can't take it with me into my grave." I do not like a house stuffed with all kinds of items who just stand around, catch dust. I do not collect anything specific and a big horror to me is strangers clean up my place and dig around in it, my past, my present or my children need to clean up a house filled with the mess I left behind.
At this moment I wish my house was more empty as it is now (minimalism is good enough) but it's hard with children.
The best gifts.
They were not given by my parents or friends (one exception the little, black rabbit a schoolfriend once gave although it didn't live long) during my childhood, they were never given by family or my ex during marriage but came long after that.
My children gave me the best presents, especially my daughter and by now the youngest two too. My daughter knows what I like even if I do not know I like it. She takes the time to find something that gives me fun or I can consume. A table filled with ferrero rochers, a cake we simply cut in four pieces and eat at once or the food I like.
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