040520 - Choking in herring.

I had a terrible night's rest.​​​​

Strange enough I didn't get used to it after all these years. All these years are over 55 years. Already as a kid, I hardly slept. Not only due to the illnesses and allergies I suffered from but my mother made life unsafe and hell to her children. 

You hope (I never pray) for better days once living on your own but that seldom works out. The soul needs time to heal which can take longer than just one lifetime. Souls and minds do not care about time. Time is an invention of humans. Human time has nothing to do with Nature's time or personal biorhythm. 

The bus-kid and I had herring for breakfast. It was over it's expiry date yesterday. I nearly choked in it as I tried to swallow the piece (without the bread for your information).

​You never get used to being ill.​​​​

It's cheap talk of doctors "get used to it", " live with it". In reality, it's eating you, taking all your energy away. 

I consider myself very lucky these days. There's no longer the need to live by other people's rules, be productive, get out of bed at 4 am. I am happy I am my own boss and the rush is gone. I owe no one anything and do no longer need to sit straight, keeping up appearances - which I am bad at -.

This morning I came out of bed sneezing, my head stuffed because I wanted to clean my room.

I opened the old windows and let the air blow inside. The house I live in is old and needs to breathe just like me. The walls aren't made of stone but sand. It took me some hours to clean up, wash the curtains, do the floor and collect everything I no longer need. One day I will take it to the containers. For now, a part of the task is done and I am satisfied although I doubt it will guarantee me a better rest tonight. 

Published today (April 5, 2020)

Published yesterday (Saturday, April 4, 2020)

Some other Saturdays

Diary Day #21 - Oct. 3, 2019
Perfect Thursday

Diary Day #23 - October 5, 2019
Fasting Saturday

Diary Day #51 - November 2, 2019
Scheduling and killing time

Diary Day #92 - December 14, 2019
Greed, rich and no need to be generous

Diary Day #147 - February 8, 2020

Diary Day #197 - Saturday, March 28, 2020
032820 - A Démon to calm down

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Comments 4

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06.04.2020 16:02

Thank you for your support.

07.04.2020 09:01

Es bueno no tener jefes, yo me acostumbré a no tenerlos desde hace muchos años. Y aun me mantengo sin jefes.
Yo no he podido ni lavar los platos sucios, no hay agua y las tuberías y ahorro la que nos queda. solo una pimpina. Ojala mañana llegue el agua. No soporto cosas sucias acumuladas.

It is good not to have bosses, I got used to not having them for many years. And I still have no bosses. @wakeupkitty.
I have not been able to even wash the dirty dishes, there is no water and the pipes and I save what we have left. just a pimpina. Hopefully tomorrow the water will arrive. I can't stand accumulated dirty things.

06.04.2020 23:45

Without water there's not much you can do. We scrape off everything as much as possible or use some paper. All the scraped foodrests are for the wolves now too. We have no rain either otherwise I would cleaned it first with that water. It is as it is. Lack of water is the worse. Tomorrow or so I'll see if they have at the city tap.
Stay safe.

07.04.2020 09:00