This week it is all about
Intestines, infections, not able to digest, eat drink and pain. I felt like I felt for years as a little child. This time there will be no hospital, no doctor, no first aid. I stay home and search for the few options left. I know there's something seriously wrong and I try to do as much (read as minimal) as possible. It is what is best for me and what is best for me is best for my childeren as well.
I already hardly eat (no wories my digestion is so slow I hardly lose weight either) and thanks to years of prednisone I looked as healthy as I can look (a good thing about family is they see no difference but the neighbour will tell you you look like shit which is appreciated).
I started the next diet change (which hopefully fits in my achievements set in December 2019, losing weight was one of them, losing not gaining). Gluten-free it is or at least as much as possible gluten-free. The bread was already rare so I can't say I miss it.
How bad is gluten free?
If you don't eat much like me it's not. I never really liked pancakes (add oatsmeal to it anyway) and I can still eat french fries (potatoes, rice is fine, wheat is a big no). Meat, poultry, fish, vegetables, fruit is still possible and I can bake my own cookies, etc as well (I actually just did with cornmeal and that recipe I will change into something that fits more to the cookie we all recognize and like).
It's a life long issue and I always thought other diseases if not prednisone caused it. Already as a child I dreamed of getting blind (not being able to open my eyes actually, and now it turns out to be the case. Dehydration is the cause, I can't cry which means eyes easily infect and I am the lucky one. All those creams and drops for the eyes are mainly expensive and do nothing. Well, nothing is a lie in reality they do something. They cause me more allergies which means I nearly rub my eyes off and spend my life in the dark (indeed I type in the dark and hope Grammarly will take care of whatever nonsense I write). Sleepless nights is a result of the eyecream (use it bfore you go to bed... good for the lost of the last eyesight, quarenteed about 4 minutes relieve before it starts hurting. To those who didn't know it yet: it's petroleum jelly you put on your eyeballs. Petroleum jelly of the price of 13 euros for 5 grams. Therefor they added some vitamin A (really?) and wool grease. Wool grease is indeed what sheep make, it's the fat by their sebacepus glands. If our same glands are overative you have acne. You wonder too how they get it out of the sheep? They kind of wash it out of the wool. One thing is sure: one can be allergic to wool grease and a fact is sheep (a few hundred of sick sheep) are my neighbors and make my life already miserable enouhg. I wonder how wol grease (Lanolin) can be healthy if it doesn't even protect a sheep against worms eating it).
To open my eyes I use several drops but it all starts getting itchy and my night rest is over. This morning I decided to do what I gave up on months ovr a year ago. I started with medication again.
To me it's all the same. Cortisone, prednisone, prednisolon, Dexamethasone.... I took it my entire life and according to the specialist it's not possible but my organs are still not damaged and I am able to make the cortisol myself. Great news but although my organs still function I most likely need way more that what they give, make, are able to produce or the average person (who ever that may be) has. I need more to keep going and have my great looks (or at least the looks I prefere most of all) and to be able to function at least a bit. The burden of a parent you cannot be sick as long as the children are around.
I have tablets left which means I will be use it for some days and see if it cures my eyes and the rest with the result I can function again and start working on my December 5th present again .
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