The Tarrasque Army

At a wrestling gymnasium in Portland, Oregon in the UOW universe, “God’s Gift” Jeremiah Vastrix is in the ring with local wrestling technician, Tyler Campbell. Rose Johnston and Olivia Cooke are at ringside to provide a cheering squad for Jeremiah.

Tyler has worked with Jeremiah for several hours, inflicting upon Jeremiah every technique in his arsenal though holding back so that Jeremiah isn’t KO’d in the process. Now, they’ve been sparring for the past few minutes.

Tyler whips Jeremiah into the ropes and goes for a back drop upon the rebound. Jeremiah puts on the brakes and grabs Tyler with a front face lock. He shimmys his hips for a hot minute, but Tyler brings him down with a double leg takedown and does a quick flip for a pinfall.

TYLER CAMPBELL: One! Two! Three! I win again!

Tyler releases Jeremiah and stands up. He helps up the downed Jeremiah with a grin.

TYLER CAMPBELL: You know what you did wrong?

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: I gotta be honest. I thought I had you there. Where did I go wrong?

TYLER CAMPBELL: You didn’t have me beat before you went for your finisher there. You might still have gotten the move inflicted and the match won if you didn’t take the time to shake your butt.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: But the fans like it when I shake my butt.

Tyler gives Jeremiah a “Who gives a fuck” look.

TYLER CAMPBELL: Are the fans going to defeat Rocco Rose for you?

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Well, no. But I wrestle for the enjoyment of the fans. I wouldn’t be in the ring without their support. No ticket sales equals no wrestling job.

Tyler just rolls his eyes.

TYLER CAMPBELL: The fact that the great Jeremiah Vastrix didn’t shake his ass one night isn’t going to make the fans boycott wrestling. You aren’t God’s Gift to Wrestling.

Jeremiah looks down at the mat for a moment like he was looking guilty of something before he looks up with a grin.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: No, man. I’m God’s Gift to Women!

Tyler looks to Olivia, who just laughs.

OLIVIA COOKE: Well, he’s a gift to me anyway.

Tyler just sighs.

TYLER CAMPBELL: I think I’ve helped you about as much as I can. You can’t be bothered to take this shit seriously.

Tyler rolls out of the ring and begins to head for the showers without a backwards glance.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Well? That went about as well as can be expected. Next!

There’s only one person left to work with Jeremiah and he steps through the ropes to enter the ring. Jeremiah holds out his hand to greet the man.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Hey, I’m Jeremiah Vastrix, if you didn’t already know.

The man shakes the hand with a warm smile.

MAN: My name is Andrew Mayer. I’m from Sacramento. I run a school for pro wrestling there.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Great. What is your area of expertise?


There is a roar from the entrance to the building. Jeremiah turns to look, his face going pale as he sees the man-beast known as Tarrasque. A creature that he has killed in action twice.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: I killed you! Twice! What will it take to keep you down?

Jeremiah’s eyes begin to glow blue as though he were building up power for a blast. He hears a yelp from ringside and looks to see Andrew Taylor at ringside with a knife to Olivia’s throat.

ANDREW MAYOR: Fight him like a man to the death or else I slit her throat. Keep back, bitch!

Rose Johnston backs away from the pair as she had been creeping up to try to ambush Andrew. Tarrasque walks down to the ring, stepping over the ropes. He grins sloppily at Jeremiah, drool running down his chin to his chest.

TARRASQUE: Me kill you now!

ANDREW MAYOR: He gets the first blow. Stand and take it, or else.

Tarrasque takes off running across the ring, hitting a spear that knocks the air out of Jeremiah’s lungs. He mounts Jeremiah, hitting him with lefts and rights before Jeremiah can roll him off and get to his feet. Tarrasque jumps to his feet and comes at Jeremiah again, who hip tosses him to the mat. Tarrasque jumps back to his feet and is hip tossed to the mat again. Jeremiah jumps into the air as Tarrasque rises, nailing a picture perfect drop kick that only staggers Tarrasque. Jeremiah hops back up and hits another drop kick and then another, but it still doesn’t bring Tarrasque down to the mat. Jeremiah goes for a fourth drop kick, but his feet are caught by Tarrasque! He hurls Jeremiah across the ring and into the corner!

ANDREW MAYER: Your boyfriend is going to die, bitch!

OLIVIA COOKE: Go, Jeremiah!

ROSE JOHNSTON: Go, Jeremiah!

Jeremiah gets to his feet, catching another spear that drives him into the corner! Tarrasque grabs the top rope on either side of Jeremiah, using them as leverage to do a point blank avalanche against Jeremiah over and over again. Jeremiah manages to get his hands on Tarrasque’s chest and uses the corner as pillar to push Tarrasque away from him. He then punches Tarrasque in the throat and hits a ripcord clothesline to put the beast down to the mat.

Tarrasque starts to sit up, catching a moonsault axe kick to the top of the head in a vicious enough blow to send him back down to the mat. Jeremiah heads to the ropes, hitting a high knee on the rebound to send the rising Tarrasque back to the mat.

ANDREW MAYER: Your boyfriend has some fight left in him I see. We can fix that. Let the beast up or I cut her!

OLIVIA COOKE: No! Don’t listen to him!

Jeremiah looks to watch Andrew with a snarl.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Hurt her and I will melt your face off!

Tarrasque gets to his feet, grabs Jeremiah up into an airplane spin, spins him around for a moment, and then falls to the side to land Jeremiah on his head!


Olivia stomps on Andrew’s foot, causing him to yelp in pain, and release her.

ROSE JOHNSTON: Hey, fucker!

Andrew turns to the sound of the voice, catching a steel chair to the face! He drops the knife to the floor, staggering backwards as blood flows freely from his nose. Olivia picks up the knife, tripping the backpedaling Andrew to the floor.

OLIVIA COOKE: Jeremiah! Finish this!

Tarrasque reaches down to pick up Jeremiah, pausing as he sees Jeremiah’s eyes glow bright blue.

TARRASQUE: Pretty lights!

A stream of blue power comes from Jeremiah’s eyes, vaporizing the top of Tarrasque’s head from the nose up. Blood sprays from the remnants of his head as he falls backwards to the mat.

Jeremiah rolls out of the ring, his eyes powering back up for another blast. He pulls Andrew up and slams him against the ring apron.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Who sent you? How is Tarrasque still coming to fight me?

Andrew looks defiant, but scared as he looks at Jeremiah’s glowing eyes.

ANDREW MAYER: They’ll kill me if I tell you!

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: I’ll kill you if you don’t!

There is a roar at the entrance to the gymnasium. Jeremiah looks to see Tarrasque at the doorway. He looks to the ring where the still bleeding corpse of Tarrasque still remains. The dots connect right away.


Jeremiah lets loose a stream of power that takes the new Tarrasque in the chest, putting a hole right through him where the heart would be. The body is shoved to the floor and trampled upon by another Tarrasque and another. A total of five more Tarrasque enter the building.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Get in the ring! I won’t have the power for another few minutes for a single blast!

Rose Johnston and Olivia Cooke roll into the ring while Jeremiah quickly headbutts Andrew to stun him and then rolls into the ring.

Andrew shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, splattering blood everywhere. He greets the Tarrasques with a grin as they come to ringside.

ANDREW MAYER: Thanks, guys. I reall-

One of the Tarrasques grabs Andrew by the head and turns his head quickly to snap his neck, dropping his lifeless corpse to the floor. The Tarrasques surround the ring. Jeremiah stands with Rose and Olivia right behind him as he protectively shields them.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: I can’t blast them myself, but you know what function I still have? Bluetooth connection with my cell phone!

The fire escape on the opposite side of the building from the entrance explodes inward with several shocktroopers rushing into the room. They see the Tarrasques and open fire, taking each of them down with ease.

OLIVIA COOKE: Why didn’t you call for help when you fought the first Tarrasque?

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: And risk you getting hurt by that scum? I don’t think so.

Olivia hugs Jeremiah and gives him a kiss as one of the shocktroopers (did I describe these guys yet? Think similar to the Stormtroopers of Star Wars. White carapace armor with faceless helmets...and assault rifles with underslung grenade launchers) take up a perimeter around the ring in case more of the cloned Tarrasques come to fight.

JEREMIAH VASTRIX: Rocco see I can take any threat down. You won’t stop me from getting to the end of this tournament. Now...let’s call the FBI for clean up. Somewhere, Anderson is behind this with some facility making clones. I wonder where?

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