The Vomitorium: The Weekend Freewrite - 11/16/2019


Spending ten days stuck in my own mind felt like being locked up in a cramped cell with a crazy person and not having any way out.

The children, observers of the experimentation going on in room-B, gave off electromagnetic sparks every time they touched the knob. A morose feeling that overcame me guided my interpretation of the unfolding situation. The birthday parties they once enjoyed had become ritualistic cocktail parties where the quality of spirit was below par. Keen awareness stifled.

The diet of the ice skater in room-B was limited. The children starred on in anticipation of his convulsive twitching. They stood on stacked crates.

Again and again, I shooed children away, hoping to give the man in room-B some quiet rest on a September day. Like lovers, they always came back. The experimentation in room-B held their exacerbated fascination inflexibly.

If only I got out for a day. Would I still feel trapped out there?

Men with ivory coats pushed their way passed the children to get into room-B. The experimentation continued on.

As much as I didn't want to know about the room, the children, smirking, told me. Critters stirred. Images rived my mind like dried autumn leaves preened from the trees. I put on a forged smile, prooving my dishonesty, and told them critters don't exist. Fictional.

If only I could get out of this nutty place for a half-day, would some feelings return?

The children let me know that the experimentations were going as planned by the men doing the planning.

I have cleaning to do.

"They found their way through the decrepit streets to an open square where they perceived a large archway with closed doors." Susy loved to tell the children stories. I never liked butting into the middle of it because the ending of her stories triggered me. " The critters were on the other side slithering, hacking, clapping."

"That, young lady," I said gathering the sheets sprawled out on the floor, "is enough critters talk tonight."

"We want to hear the ending," wined Charlie.

Fudgesickle. I need to get away from this place before they bring me down to their level.

Before I could continue on with my thoughts and the cleaning, the lights went out and the children were silent. My ear picked up a slithering sound that hastened. I jumped up onto a bed.

The children snickered wildly.

Lights turned on.

Not a soul was in the room with me when I opened my eyes and checked around the room. "Stop playing games with me!"

A hideous giggle berated my loneliness as I escaped into the eerie hallway flashing with lights. My lungs inflated half of their normal capacity as my blood pressure rose. An intense heat knocked me off balance. Falling to the ground, my skin melted into the ground. Head hit the ground; the rattling of my skull gave me a headache that caused blurriness and some confusion.

Figure approached.

A cigarette butt in front of the pot - it bends down, picks it up and lights it with its middle finger.

"Left me in there to rot," said the figure, shocking my bones to their core.

Between the blinking lights, I saw that it was the ice skater from room-B. "Critters don't exist," I shout - terrified silence.

With echolocation, I spot a spoon spinning rapidly toward my head, dodging before I'm hit. Skillets. Hammers and nails. Picking up a skillet, I hurl it toward the man but miss. The skillet hit the Great Wall of China poster on the wall, glass parades down to the floor.

The ice skater moved down the hallway of the Vomitorium with grace and speed that cut threw the air soundlessly. Above me, he stood.

"Are you ready to believe what you see, Johny?" he asked.

The children appeared. They formed a circle around me and started chanting "bananas are berries" as their shoes clicked on the ground.

The ice skater blew smoke into my face. "I am the critter and you will do things. No excuses."

I grabbed the hammer, hoisted myself up and off the floor and stuck him in the ribs. He howled and I ran.

The ceiling's electric fan turned on. One kid after another hurled themselves from it toward me but I dodged them.

Deadbolting the office door, I awaited the daylight's return.

THE END


So, this was an interesting challenge, as recommended by John Taylor Gatto, that I gave myself to do. If you take notice, each section of the 3 prompts has 21 sentences each that are 1 word in length, 2 words in length, 3 words in length, etc, all the way up to 21 in random order. This was a tough exercise but a fun one. - Do let me know if you try this exercise. I would love to read it.


Freewrite brought to you by @mariannewest and @freewritehouse

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Ongoing Contests

Old list of completed freewrites


New list:

Non-Fiction
Dachshund

Fiction
Uncertain Future Screeching Tires No Panic Dirt Bike Law and Order
Pecan Stone Wall Inappropriately Dressed Community Garden Nail-biting
I Sold My Soul to the Devil

Ongoing Stories Numbered in Order of Story's Progression

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Spider Web

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The Ferris Wheel Lion by the River The Feeding Space Ring Witchy Things
That Fishy Smell The Light The Little Ghouls The Contest The Blue Envelope

We-writes (collaborations with community members)
The Maze

Comments 12



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20.11.2019 05:04
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You're getting some delegation coin from me. Thanks for the continued support.

20.11.2019 05:52
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Hi tristancarax,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

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20.11.2019 05:25
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So awesome!!!

20.11.2019 05:28
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Hello Hello!

Great story, a great understanding of the writing and words, combine such for which, congratulations and I hope you continue writing on this wonderful platform called Steemit, have a good day friend

Greetings from Venezuela!

20.11.2019 14:26
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Thanks and I'm not leaving yet. The first time I left steemit I was being blessed but, because I listened to people that said it was a pyramid scheme and bla, bla, bla, I missed out on free coin. Man, I almost could have been a whale back then if I stuck with it. So, I'm a little more reluctant to throw in the towl this time around even though steemit isn't doing real great. Having people who stop by and read my work is rewarding, so thanks! It seems to be a ghost town for me on other platform, which is another reason why I do like it here.

21.11.2019 00:10
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Free writes rock!

20.11.2019 16:10
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That neat; they are actually worth something. Thanks for the coin and I do hope you'll stop by again really soon.

21.11.2019 00:12
0

The story is fantastic. Very well narrated in my opinion.
I was reviewing the indications of how you did the exercise and I find it very difficult. Congratulations for achieving it. Cheers @tristancarax

21.11.2019 00:11
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Yes, this exercise is difficult and time-consuming, as I have come to find out. Figuring out a way to make it all make sense in the random number order is very tricky. I'm surprised that any story comes out at all! 8-)

I have found myself inserting the parts of speech in places that I normally wouldn't think of using when construct these sentences. Like, more adjectives.\

I'm glad that you stop by. Hope to see you again really soon.

21.11.2019 00:18
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It is really difficult. I dedicated myself to count the words. To look where you placed the sentences. And to read it all twice and you got a story with consistency.
I think if I did this exercise it would take months to make a story

21.11.2019 00:28
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You might surprise yourself. 8-)

It took me years to give this exercise a go so I understand.

I had to go back and change some of the sentences. It's quiet different than pulling something completely and rewriting or putting it elsewhere with the self-imposed restriction in place.

I have currently created a brand new constest. Maybe you will throw caution to the wind and give this a shot. I'd love to read it, really.

21.11.2019 00:35
0