I never knew what the Holy Spirit was, what it was capable of doing , it personality neither it role in a man's life. I have imagined the Holy Spirit to be a bird-like creature( That's what our preacher was able to describe it like). For long I have dwell on that imagination and could have argued all day with my pointless belief. I grew up in an orthodox Church where the pastor believed nothing or little about the dynamic of the holy spirit, in fact , he knew little of the work of the spirit. Speaking in tongues and miracles was things he doesn't believe happens and at age 16-21years , we cheered it up and keyed into what we were taught. Everyone who performed miracle or speak in a strange tongue was considered to be a fake preacher and this kept on for a very long time.
At age 25years, i engaged myself into reading books and that's where I came across a book titled "when God writes my love story by Eric and Leslie ludy" , this was supposed to be a relationship book but somehow it talked about all area of a Christian Life . More than just the relationship talks , it opened my eyes to see the nature of God in it true sense, it made me feel God's pure love for all humanity and opened my eyes of understanding to see where I was failing.
Then, I knew nothing about the holy Spirit save the prayers we engage in that require we ask the holy Spirit to take control over either a meeting or a Christian fellowship and couldn't have realized it was the Holy Spirit that visited me . The holy Spirit came to me when my eyes was opened to understand the mind of God and to see in it true nature the love of God. I could feel a pure sense of peace, boldness and genuine love for God. I could read God's love in every letter of the Bible, it was a feeling I have never felt, so pure, a boldness I have never felt, so strong , and a love I have never felt for God, undescribable.
I never saw a bird decending upon me nor a fire resting on my head but I knew that moment that something was working within me so soft yet strong. It showed me the whole essence of life "That the whole duty of man was to serve God", At that instance, I wasn't afraid of death, I could feel a force within me that was stronger than sin. This was a feeling I could sell my belongings to posses.
To sad, that I didn't realize it was the holy Spirit working within me, I could feel the difference within me and my level of understanding increased but I couldn't comprehend that it was the working of the spirit.
In my ignorance, I provoked the spirit and it left me as empty as I was , once again I saw myself vulnerable to fear, sin and the lust of the flesh ruling over me. I couldn't see the love of God as purely as before. No wonder David cried out asking for restoration of the joy of his salvation and renewal of the right spirit within him.