SunSet Haiku


sunset599826_1920.jpgImage by skeeze from Pixabay



Clouds of starlings flock
wings flashing adagios -
sunset sings of night

© Rowan Joyce all rights reserved

This haiku was inspired by the Mizu No Oto - Haiku Contest, where a picture is used to prompt a haiku. In this case I have taken my prompt from the image used as a thumbnail in this post.

The Mizu No Oto - Haiku Contest (linked above) contains a fantastic tutorial on the traditional aesthetics and technique of Haiku, I recommend checking it out for a master class in this form of poetry. In this Haiku I have tried to adhere to the 4th iteration of the Toriawase stylistic model - toriawase with torihayashi to the third ku - while keeping a strict 5/7/5 syllabic structure.

One of the main mistakes that many new to this form of poetry make, is writing Haiku to a strict syllabic structure to the detriment of the overall aesthetic. This isn't the right approach when writing in English! The over-riding misconception in the west is that Haiku MUST adhere to a 5/7/5 syllabic structure. While this is traditionally true with classic Japanese haiku and Senryu, Japanese syllables in no way resemble English syllables. So, if you hold to 5-7-5, even to the point where you must eliminate the exact word that completes the aesthetic concept your haiku demands--then you have committed the ultimate blasphemy.

To read more about the difference between Haiku and Senryu please check out my recent post Haiku Vs Senryu - The Aesthetics of Form.

The image used in this post is creative commons licence, linked below the picture. If you have enjoyed this Haiku, please check out my other work on my homepage @raj808.

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Comments 1


Shared on twitter and Fbook as part of ocd's proof of share initiative:

https://twitter.com/rowanj808/status/1212767601719463936?s=20

02.01.2020 16:12
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