Humorous Quotes


Quotes need not be all serious, and teaching life lessons. There are witty and humorous quotes which have a lot of truth in them at the same time. Take a look at today’s selection. Remember the ones you like best, and go impress your friends with your wit and humour.

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There’s always room for improvement, you know – it’s the biggest room in the house. - Louise Heath Leber

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. - Bob Hope

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E. M. Forster

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. - Sarah Brown

If you ask enough people, you can usually find someone who’ll advise you to do what you were going to do anyway. - Weston Smith 

You’ll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him. - Lou Holtz

Writers don’t get mad, they get even in their novels. - Candace C. Bowen

There are two perfectly good men, one dead and the other unborn. - Chinese Proverb

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. - Jack Yelton

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons

It’s okay to let a fool kiss you, but don’t let a kiss fool you. - Unknown

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