As the 3rd day of being a non smoker starts I thought I'd write about my experiences so far and by no means has this been easy.
However apparently my smell and taste has come back today according to the app. We shall see as I am about to go and make breakfast!
And I've recovered half a day of my life!
These are horrible monsters that live in your chest that make you want to run to the nearest person smoking and steal all their cigarettes.
They are slowly getting less but the urge to roll up and smoke is still very strong.
The noise of a lighter clicking is a real trigger for me wanting to smoke. I thought the sense that would be my trigger was smell. I was wrong. The smell of someone else smoking or just after smoking is not nice!
The Self Doubt And Mental Motivation
This has been hard. At times I have tearing my hair out saying why am I doing this. What's the F**CKIN Point I am going to fail anyway.
Fighting that voice is the hardest part of giving up. A constant battle of wills.
Normally by now in my attempts I'd have caved. Maybe I just want it more this time. But I keep on reminding myself why I am doing this.
The most paramount reason is the promise I made both my Grandparents. Grandad died a few months ago and I want my Grandma to be proud of me. She told me yesterday to keep going and Grandad would be proud. Needless to say crying writing this but It helped me so much not to smoke.
Then the other more personal reasons include the environment. I hate what filters do to our beautiful planet. And for my own health.
I'd felt like a hypocrite for a long time being an Earth Protector and yet littering it with the chemicals and Filters from smoking.
One thing that I feel has helped this time is a Stop Smoking Group on Facebook I joined. I found the support really helpful at all times of day.
I have been using 2 vapes to get me through. Some people may see this as not stopping however I started on 3ml of nictoteen and moved down to 0.
I have smoked 0 nictoteen on my vape for a while when I was smoking tobacco.
Things I've Observed Since Stopping
My lungs feel easier when breathing as if they are not struggling any more. However I feel like I am getting a bad chest from not smoking.
My poo smells more?!? If that even is a thing.
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