Two years is a long time to feel like a failure, daily.
Knowing in advance the work will never be popular, by default...
That's a tough pill to swallow.
So I'm glad I didn't go to my local drug dealer on the corner to get my victim pill prescription filled. Hundreds of posts, hundreds of new and never before seen artworks produced, viewed by people from all over the world, daily.
That's my true reality. Even on my worst days, I focus on my reality.
Far more good has come my way, than bad.
For nearly three years, I've had to ignore all of the naysayers. Little downers rise up from their pits of despair every now and again to attempt to discredit everything I've achieved here. I remember one came at me shortly after I had returned from a lengthy hiatus to tell me, in so many words, all of you out there are my sock puppet accounts. When you vote, that's me voting for myself. When you comment, that's me talking to myself.
That's how far people will go
to attempt to bring others down.
My reality is: I'm not as successful as I want to be, because it's never enough and I have a tough time settling with mediocre, the cards are stacked against me, I got people around me constantly saying the world is ending, majority of those who can, refuse to support my work or even acknowledge my existence even though my posts consistently make the top ten most commented on meaning my blog is one of the most active places on the platform, organically—none of that brings me down.
It drives me crazy!
But it doesn't bring me down.
I need that crazy for some of the things I do here anyway. If it wasn't for this chaos all around me, my blog would be fucking boring.
Anyway. Before I display what nearly two months of hard work and failing consistently looks like, I'd just like to tip my hat to all those folks working hard behind the scenes to give us things like Tribes and those fancy-schmancy Steem Engine tokens.
I realize there are plenty of haters out there but many of them don't come equipped with the perspective of an actual content producer who's been trying to move up the ladder instead of going in reverse. The timing couldn't have been better. The added exposure has helped breathe new life into what I want to achieve here on the STEEM blockchain. And of course the added value generated by my work for me as well as all those who help contribute can be converted into a huge boost of confidence and another reason to carry on rather than give up like so many before me.
Someday some content producer out there is going to need proof this blockchain actually works and I can step forward to say, yup, works fine, as long as you check your entitlement issues at the door and know how to work for it.
I don't plan on striking it rich with the projects I'm invested in but I do plan on doing my part to help build the communities as best I can with the hopes there's something for everyone to enjoy down the road. Call me crazy. I'm used to it.
It never ends.