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Hi Stranger! I'd Like To Welcome You Inside My Friendly Home!


I realize if I said that in public, I'd probably have the police visiting instead of new friends.

Everyone is a potential pervert!

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Hello Perverts!

Relax! I'm only messing around.

That's called banter and yes, I realize society today is trying to protect everyone from having a little bit of fun while at the same time ensuring all remain depressed and easily manipulated; but I don't care. I don't want to be the one screaming, "Legalize raillery!" in fifty years like we had to do with weed until the batteries died in the remotes of these control freaks who constantly sell their souls for a chance at a nice comfy office chair.

Oh, and before I get too carried away, I should probably explain that if you are a pervert, you can leave now because I'm not offering a trail of breadcrumbs that lead to some kind of foot fetish satanic goat ritual animated milf porn or whatever the hell it is you kids watch these days.

See! I'm not afraid of perverts. I probably just helped one. When was the last time you helped a pervert?

You're Welcome

And that's the theme of today's post.

Unfortunately, I've probably scared more than just the perverts away by now and that's probably a good thing because what's coming up will most definitely scar the remainder of humanity, for life.

But for some screwed up reason, you're still here, so I guess I'll get on with it.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I just wanted you to come here to my nice home so I could show you...

This:

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Say hi to my cousin!

He told me to go outside and find him some friends!

But don't worry! He ain't no pervert on the first date!

He likes to get to know you first so just sit on down here in this chair and let us strap you in!

We's going for a ride!

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"Don't interrupt him while he's watching his Dr. Phil shows!"
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