Returning to regular life/routine have been nothing but a bitter pill to swallow. Although I despise my prior environment but waking up with sunshine slowly creeping up to the window is better than greeted by artificial light and sound. Then, greeted by human being who offers you hot water for coffee instead boiling it yourself is just wholesome. Then, occasionally, children would start making noises asking me or others to print them a picture to color. Meanwhile, back in the city, everything is as quiet as graveyard. Although at times, the village can be that way too, especially during the night.
I used to fear of the silence and darkness in the village. Now that I am back to the city life, I appreciate much more. 5 days back in the city, I already see the differences in my sleeping pattern.The artificial lights and sounds around me, managed to keep me wide awake until the morning comes. Sleeping is much harder because all the stimulation I received.
On a good side, I can finally go back to my "ramen" diet. Not literally ramen as in noodle, but in a tight budget. I can control things that go into my mouth. Previously, during the community service, food was abundant. There was not a day we were starving. Besides, we paid over 200$ all expenses covered. However, the food we ate was processed foods, carbs,rich of sugar and fat. From chocolate, to ice creams, to cookies, chips, you name it, we have it. However now, I can finally go back eating bananas and reverting to my vegetarian diet.
During the community service, I didn't rely to prescription as much as I am today. I only take as needed to keep my sanity afloat because the stresses caused by excessive daily interaction with others. However these days, I have to rely much on prescription to fill all the holes and void in me. Perhaps all I needed was some kind of meaning that I managed to find during the community service. That I was able to help others in the way I can. That I carry a meaning for others and I can transfer my knowledge to people.
With that being said, I am slowly adjusting to the city life once again. It comes with perks and cons that I simply have to face.
Being adaptable is what I strive to be.
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