Lost.


Now, I'm sure we've all felt lost at some point, but think about this for a minute.


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Have you ever felt truly lost? As if you were walking this very earth without a purpose? Without any idea as to why you're here, what you should do, where you should go, why you should even go there, how going there will truly even affect this reality, or if you even care to be here?

For most of my life, I've walked the earth without a clue.

What do I do?
Why do I do it?
What's the point?
How does it truly matter?

How do I decide?

These are questions that plague my mind, constantly.
It seems that no amount of trying to figure things out, does any good.

I still feel as though I'm wandering this world, aimlessly, pointlessly, as in my mind, none of this reality we've all come to understand... truly matters.

What's next?

No one truly knows.

We all have beliefs and some of us choose faith in something spoken and written.
Others choose to believe there's nothing.
Yet others still, believe we come back, or have many lives.

The point is, once you're gone from here, you don't come back.
At least not in the conventional method of: Tell the world what comes after death, certainly, definitely.

What makes me feel the most lost, is that I am a person of very strong will, of determination, ambition, drive, and passion. Above all else, I do things for a reason, not just to do them. I make decisions and take action based upon guidelines I have defined for myself, through experience and research, and I make those decisions and actions with intent.

When you are left with these universal, existential questions, such as, "Why are we here?" It leaves massive holes in your very logic, your very being. It makes the very definition of you and how you operate... unknown... As in, "If this is why I am here, then this is the action I will take in my life." Yet, the "This is why I am here." part is left out. A part of the equation you are determined, with all your being, to know for certain, unquestionably and undeniably, is not there.

A key part to your existence and your will to exist. Gone. Unable to be found. Error 404'd.

My problem is that I cannot just accept and move past the idea that I do not know why I am here, as that reason, in my mind, is the very reason I should or should not do any given thing in this reality I am placed in. Some people can, and do, but that just is not how I was designed/built/came from chaos to be.
I need answers and without them, I am broken.

Just some thoughts I've had, essentially my whole life.

Any thoughts of your own to add on this matter?


Comments 8


well after reading this it is numerous feeling to me when it come in my mind from birthday to till now what II get and what I lost? after thinking a lot the are results are zero because there are only three days in life, ''yesterday today tomorrow''.yesterday has past today is still and tomorrow is on it's way to coming but you don't have any guarrenty you will or not.You come across your life with struggling period for your better upcomings but you are not sure for your doings and plans. A common question all arround us ''Ever you notice how many people have left you forever and it is impossible to see them.One day same thing will happened to you others will pass comments on you by saying that he was a good man. This is my support to you.

04.07.2019 04:49
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04.07.2019 04:54
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Wow @lookplz! What a thought provoking post!! I've read through the comments as well as see that you've hit a nerve with more than a few people; @simplymike and @warpedpoetic :)

I used to feel like this all the time, especially when I was younger. I decided at some point in my 20's to stop spending so much of my energies on the "why" and focus instead on what paths were available to me. I literally fell into teaching as a career, not by choice but by practicalities (which totally went against the way I normally would react!!), but eventually realized that it was the most rewarding thing I'd ever done in my life (even though I hated it in the beginning :) I managed to literally change kids' lives, and my own in the process too. Had I stopped to really examine my choice in the beginning, and focus on why I was doing it, I never ever ever would have taken that step.

I saw so many of my senior students especially, fighting with the same conundrums ... why why why, and although it's great to question everything (something I always encouraged), sometimes it's also great to take a leap of faith (and I'm not talking religiously there either). It's sounds so cliche, but it's true: sometimes when walking one path, so many others open up to you and they never would have come into your line of sight if you'd never taken that first one.

I'm 53 now and can tell you that life in my oh so humble opinion, is not meant to be planned out ... which I know seems to go against everything we're ever taught. I never did answer the question, "what do I want to do with my life?", but I've done a whole bunch of different things (ex/ took a leave from teaching and owned and operated a restaurant for a year, because it was something I always wanted to do). Maybe we're not supposed to ever do just one thing and be satisfied. Maybe we're supposed to taste all this amazing world has to offer and trust that at the end of the line, we'll be satisfied with what we've done.

What I do know is that on our death beds, we'll never think, oh, I should have worked more :)

Judging from the length of my response, I'd say you touched a nerve with me too haha

OH, thank you to @simplymike for featuring your post in her Pay it Forward Curation Contest entry :)

06.07.2019 16:12
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For some reason, I knew it would resonate with you 😉

06.07.2019 23:53
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Ditto :)

07.07.2019 05:55
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08.07.2019 07:39
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Many things have caused me to feel lost in my life. But as hard as it is, it's important to move on - to take the next step, even if that next step is all you can see. Thanks for your thought-provoking post.

I found you today because @simplymike featured you in the Pay it Forward Curation Contest. Keep up the great work!

10.07.2019 04:17
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I have felt like that at times before, and it does tend to creep up on me, if you dive into it, it can quickly become an inescapable labyrinth. I feel like you shouldn't try to find one big idea that your "it" of this world but start by identifying what the little pleasures are that you enjoy.

If it's outdoors, keep exploring it, focus on various aspects of your interest and then find a niche in it that you can double down on without getting board, eventually that becomes your passion and you'll find meaning in it for yourself, or at least that's what its been like for me

10.07.2019 08:10
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