Pages (and pages, and pages) of Memories...


memories
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TO BURN OR NOT TO BURN, THAT IS THE QUESTION.


Last night was a blur of hours spent going through a box of memories I haven't unearthed for many years. I hadn't expected it to be at the bottom of a bin of books, but there it was.

Not only were there photos that hit me with flashbacks galore, but a pile of journals, poetry and short stories dating back to when I was a teenager.

I tossed a lot of photos in the garbage and recycled a ton of writing, but I went and pulled some of it back out of the recycling bag today. Because maybe there's some inspiration in there for another story. I dunno.

One of the stacks I reclaimed from being tossed out is half-a-notebook's worth, hand-written, of an account of my biker days. I came of age on the back of a motorcycle, so to speak.

I'm not sure if I should keep the memories or burn them, honestly. I don't mind leaving the past behind me, nor burning bridges along the way. Done my fair share of that.

So here I sit and wonder what I should do with these scrawled pages. Do I put them back in the bin to re-discover as the years go by, or do I take the record of who I was and the struggles (and laughter) I endured and set it ablaze?

Sometimes the best thing to do is take it to the fire. And yet I read the first couple of pages and laugh, knowing I was doomed from the start. My nickname back then was Trouble. For good reason. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to remember how good I was at stirring it up. ;)

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Whatever happens, keep singing your song!
Peace. @katrina-ariel
Katrina Ariel

Author bio: Katrina Ariel is an old-soul rebel, musician, tree-hugging yogini, and mama bear to twins. Author of Yoga for Dragon Riders (non-fiction) and Wild Horse Heart (romance), she's another free-spirit swimming in the sea of life. Check out her music here: https://choon.co/artists/katrina-ariel/
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Dragon art commissioned from Liiga Smilshkalne.

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Comments 53


I came across some old old writing like that a few years ago. I didn't want to trash it because, like you say, I may enjoy rediscovering and revisiting those memories when I am older. But I didn't want the bulk, moving them from place to place as I go through life, so I scanned them all and store them in a few different places (multiple copies, my own strange backup solution) along with other important documents like past taxes and so on. So if I never revisit them, well they are only a few kilobytes, and they will be around for my kids if they feel the urge, and if I do someday feel the desire to revisit, I know where they are.

08.07.2019 05:15
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Nice! That sounds like a great solution!

08.07.2019 06:16
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I imagine that trouble could be focused into some powerful new words to bless the ink and screens of many!

08.07.2019 07:34
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I'm on it! ;)

09.07.2019 04:25
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I think it is tough for anyone to know how to react to such vivid reminders of ones past whether to keep or burn them they can be a mix of emotions coming from reading them so I think you should do what ever feels right for you

That said I just thought about it and am glad I didn’t keep journals when I was younger

Thanks for this great post and being an active member of @steemusa !tip

08.07.2019 08:54
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Thank you! Yeah, I started reading part of it and I can't deal with the drama. Sometimes things are better left in the past and not re-examined. That said, the first page made me laugh, hard, so maybe I'll hang onto it for a while longer. ;)

09.07.2019 04:27
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Well if the first page made you laugh that’s good 😎
Yes some parts of our life happened and may have affected or lead us to who we are now but do not need to be revisited

09.07.2019 09:11
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🎁 Hi @katrina-ariel! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @tattoodjay!

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08.07.2019 08:54
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woop woop!

08.07.2019 10:32
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Trouble? They called me 'Mother'. And it wasn't just part of normal phrase.

Almost all of mine is gone, and rightly so. I get it. I'm going to suggest that you might want to save it for your boys to discover at the appropriate time.

Just a suggestion. I'm sure your gut knows the right answer.

08.07.2019 10:32
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LOL! You're hilarious. I shiver thinking of my boys reading the story of me coming of age on the back of a motorcycle—with no helmet on. OMG. But I'll hang onto it for a while longer, methinks. Revisit it. As for the journals, I can't even open them. I'll have to deal with them at a later time. Poetry is easier to edit, easier to let go of. But, yeah. I might procrastinate the decision for a few more years. ;)

09.07.2019 04:29
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Decisions decisions 💙❤💚
I love seeing you on the blockchain! Hope you are enjoying summer. 🤗

08.07.2019 12:26
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Thank you! You as well! 🤗

09.07.2019 04:29
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Oooo I wouldnt trash it if I were you. That way you can look back and reminisce when the mood strikes you. Lets just say, you can always burn it later, but you can't un-burn it... ;)

08.07.2019 16:03
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Wise words, indeed. ;)

09.07.2019 04:29
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I have a whole container of photos, writings &letters i need to go through. It’s not easy to get rid of old memories.

09.07.2019 01:48
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It isn't, you're right. Although there are some things where it feels good to let them go. ;)

09.07.2019 04:30
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Keep it for another decade and see what you feel about it. I recently stumbled upon one of the my journal from my teenage years and I really enjoyed reading it and rediscover some old forgotten memories.

09.07.2019 02:13
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I like that "another decade" suggestion. ;) I put it back in the bin for however long till I open it again. I can totally see how rediscovering your journal could've been a joy. Some memories are worth keeping.

09.07.2019 04:31
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Oh my gosh. Keep it! Keep it all! One day when you are old and gray imagine what a treasure it will be for you, your kids, your possible grand kids. ☺️

09.07.2019 03:37
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Oh dear, that's actually frightening. ;) Well, some of the writing is worth passing down. Some of it is just me learning how to write and processing feelings along the way. And then there's the drama. I can only hope I spare my children those bits. :P

09.07.2019 04:33
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Ohh those days when we are so fond of writing, exploring, creating. I too have a lot of them still with me from my teen days and on and off I like to keep going back to them. I have kept some of my diaries and sometimes I laugh to myself when I look at how I perceived life then.
You may not burn out all of them, keep some which strongly pulls you and let the rest go off :-)

09.07.2019 08:12
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Good idea. Yes, I've kept some, and let go of the rest. Sometimes letting go is the wisest choice. ;) Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

11.07.2019 17:00
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I came across an old trunk that I had found up in Canada long ago and far away and put all my memories in there so that none of them would get out. You know how things have a way of popping out here in there.

Of the younger me journaled too much because that's what everybody did and when I look back on some of it I laugh at how ridiculous I was thinking that I would want to remember things like that and then there were those things that I didn't even want to remember. No less, my children reading them upon my death. As if my death wasn't going to be traumatic enough then they would have to read who their mother really was long ago and far away.

In the end, I scanned and kept some, tossed many of the pictures and kept a few. The one thing I did do that I wasn't sorry about was I Road apiece to myself about finding these treasures and how I felt about it. Then I bet that's it and re-read it again probably three weeks ago. It was then that I decided I could let it go because some of the past should stay in the past and do I really want my children to share in some of the things that I did that I am no longer quite so proud of? I didn't rob a bank or anything but my kids have a different way of looking at me. Do I keep up that image or do I share a piece of me from my younger years? I couldn't decide which was better which is why I scanned it. I was on the fence about it but the more I thought about people going through my stuff after I have left this world, the less I wanted to keep it. I think that you are going to do exactly what is right for you. Because the way I feel about my past could be different the way you feel about yours. Although I'm not ashamed of any of my past I don't think I'm quite ready to put it all out there for my kids. Lol my kids are more straitlaced than I ever was. Lol

!tip

09.07.2019 13:39
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OMG everything you just said. All of it. I don't have super fond feelings of my past. Even though I'm proud of myself for riding a motorcycle, I'm horrified I did it without a helmet, and the drama surrounding that part of my life is more than I want to subject anyone to, much less relive it myself. I kept the pages for a bit longer, but I have a feeling one day I'll take them to the fire. My kids can find their own trouble and adventures, they don't need mine. ;)

11.07.2019 17:05
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09.07.2019 13:39
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Hello!

This post has been manually curated, resteemed
and gifted with some virtually delicious cake
from the @helpiecake curation team!

Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
Keep up the great work!

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Manually curated by @enginewitty.

11.07.2019 12:35
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@katrina-ariel scan them and then save them digitally forever. Heard this on #pypt

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11.07.2019 16:38
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So many pages. That would be a lot of work. ;) But a solid idea, and one that doesn't take up physical space, for sure!

11.07.2019 17:02
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!SHADE 1
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12.07.2019 15:05
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12.07.2019 15:05
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I couldn't do it.
Never tossed photos out.
I have a huge attachment to them all!

thanks for presenting on #pypt @pypt

11.07.2019 16:42
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Thanks for visiting! As for tossing photos out, I tend to burn bridges once I'm over them. Always been that way, though I keep a few open in case I want to backtrack. ;)

11.07.2019 16:59
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yep .. burn those bridges... but.. let's keep a wee small path in case I change my mind.
decisive and unwavering ... perfect :)

12.07.2019 15:04
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12.07.2019 15:02
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Grew up on the back of a bike and had a nick name like trouble... sounds like some good reading.

My wife and I both ride cruisers also, and my oldest son!
look forward to seeing you around #PYPT.

11.07.2019 16:46
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Oh nice! The family that rides together stays together? ;) Thanks for visiting!

11.07.2019 17:00
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12.07.2019 15:06
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12.07.2019 15:06
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I say keep them :)

but... i do know sometimes we keep things and they just pile and pile and pile. hehehee so its a hard call to make!

but then - like the other day - you did take a peek and were whisked back to another time. so maybe its worth it for those special moments hehehe

nice to hear you today on #pypt glad there is a place to gather, hosted by a solid constant heart - @shadowspub :)

11.07.2019 16:47
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nice to hear you today on #pypt glad there is a place to gather, hosted by a solid constant heart - @shadowspub :)

Indeed!!!

And yes, things sure pile up. Sometimes I'm tempted to get rid of everything just so there's no more clutter. Other times I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for everything I have. Thanks for visiting my blog, my friend.

11.07.2019 17:01
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12.07.2019 15:06
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12.07.2019 15:06
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I tossed a lot of photos in the garbage and recycled a ton of writing

WHAT? I couldn't do that... I dunno... those are treasures of the mind?!

phew... found this on #pypt and I'll advise against destroying previous expressions of yourself. There's probably half a bucket full of wisdom to be found in those?!

12.07.2019 10:14
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12.07.2019 15:02
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I am fine with cutting ties, but never burning history.
Good, bad, indifferent, and even the most difficult, it's all a part of who we are, and how we got to where we are!

Yep, never photos! Can't do it.

12.07.2019 16:27
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With your asana-nailing, tree-hugging, Mother-Earthiness, and gentle spirit, it is hard to imagine you as a biker chick whose middle name was "Trouble" 😱 But, at least you met Shakespeare while in that phase of your life! 😁 So good to see you in PYPT again, sweetie! You have been missed! So glad, too, that you are with computer again! 😊

14.07.2019 06:54
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