How to Suck at Life

But trick people into thinking you’re cool…16-How to Suck at Life But trick people into thinking youre cool.jpg
I want to recognize again that a lot of people reading this have it a lot worse than I do. Fate has cursed them with imperfections and circumstances that have made nearly everything that normal people do and find happiness in frustratingly beyond their grasp. It may be easy for them to misconstrue my stories of fast cars, fast women, travel, and partying as bragging and they may think…
Jonathan, you’re cross eyed but you’re actually pretty good-looking, intelligent, capable, witty, and confident. Of course, you have a good life!

Well, actually I (mostly) suck at life! I’m naturally quite incompetent and often stupid. I often think that if I was born at a different point in history when there weren’t so many ways to hack the system, I would have really been a miserable loser! I would have by this time in my life ended up homeless or worse dead and rotting in a ditch (or on some godforsaken bloody battlefield). Like a significant portion of the male population throughout history, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to procreate, I would have totally been a genetic dead end. Thank God we were born at this interesting time when there are so many shortcuts to the good life!

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