The love, love, love what will it be in those who have Asperger's


For common people love is a utopia or a form of sharing, this is because the human being is by nature polygamous, and society is the enemy of those who love freely, so much so that free love has been associated with promiscuity. To love each other love is not enough is common to hear, because love hurts and love with hunger does not last, so there are other factors that determine the happy coexistence of couples. And these are imposed filters that have created clichés and obligations difficult to understand and execute for those who do not handle these parameters, which is why for those of us who are "weird" love is complicated.
And it may seem paradoxical that of my 65 years I have spent almost 44 years married and that this is divided between 3 wives, because the evidence would say that for me love has not been complicated, however as they say on a commercial level, certain conditions apply.
Interaction limitations are commonly confused with shyness and some psychologists have even asserted that a characteristic of Asperger's is the latter, personally I do not believe that any of the above mentioned has an impact on the way we love.
Naïve love is sincere, but it needs trust to be lasting, because when this is broken, what unites us ends, since we are beings that rely on the reciprocity of loyalty and transparency to be able to adapt to a relationship that ends up being somehow volatile because it needs the understanding of the partner regarding the expressive deficiencies that end up dynamiting the road to happiness.
It took three marriages and an extraordinary woman who was able, without knowing it, to navigate against the current and keep me tied to the ups and downs of my condition, by dint of a lot of patience, understanding and love, and as a matter of fate, perhaps that has helped her to deal with our son.
It is not easy to love someone who shows few external sentimental expressions, who finds it difficult to embrace, to be romantic, to share with a group of people, to have few friends, to be absorbed by the passion of what he likes. It is not easy to love someone who does not like to be loved, because love is a path that manages to bring out that inner being that fears being harmed.
And surely, all these weapons that my wife was able to handle naively, are effective for any "different" person, regardless of sex, race or age, because it is through the naivety of unconditional love that people can reach, even if it is a brief visit, that inner world that holds the riches of naturalness.
To that love add an infinite and inexhaustible drop of patience and you will be able to obtain results that no doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist can offer you with pharmacological or nutritional treatments. Remember that the secret is not to transform someone "strange" into "normal" or vice versa, but to create paths where both of you can walk without feeling threatened.
Love for those of us who are "strange" or "different" is not the one that is spiced with fireworks, of words spoken aloud so that those around them can be certain, not the one that needs to be kept afloat in exchange for conventional routines, but the one that is housed in the heart without having to have departments according to convenience.

Comments 2

Hi @joseph1956

Excellent post! beautiful reflection full of wise words.
Love and living as a couple is not easy, two of the secrets is respecting the other as it is and a lot of patience.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
Have a great day!

11.04.2021 14:59

To many people, love is different and what they understand about love is different from people. Some view it as a action expression while some view it as emotional expressions

11.04.2021 15:45