How we perceive love and what our expectations are in romantic relationships differs from person to person. However, one thing most of us have in common is our conception or misconception about love at first sight. What we've learned from all the romantic comedies TV has gotten us used to and from all those strikingly similar romance novels is that only love at first sight is meant to last.
While love at first sight might be one of the most common dreams we have in our younger years when we are simply in love with the idea of falling in love, the more we grow, the more experienced we become, in life and romance alike.
So, if a good looking guy or girl could make the butterflies in your stomach go round and round when you were 17, at 27 or 37 you are probably not that eager to let those stormy bastards mess with you. Why? Not because you don't believe in love at first sight anymore, but because you don't believe in its importance. You are not that hungry for it anymore.
As you gain more experience, you understand that good quality relationships, romantic or of another nature, take time to develop. You also know that what you used to call love at first sight 10 years ago is simply translated into pure physical attraction now. It's chemistry and there are plenty studies to support it (maybe we'll talk about this in another post). Also, you are quite able to distinguish this type of appeal, no matter how strong it is, from true love which is mutual, powerful and based on respect and trust.
The more you get to know yourself, the better you are at relating with others and creating long-lasting relationships with like-minded individuals. And to do this, especially on a romantic level, takes time, patience, and, most likely, a lot of compromise. This is the true image of love that is definitely less tempting than the idea of finding the 'right one' and living happily ever after just because you were lucky enough to look in the right direction. True love, just like true friendship, implies sacrifices and is not always a charming place to be in.
The idea of falling in love at the first sigh, somehow minimizes all the effort one has to put into a successful relationship. Also, it makes everything seem too plain and it is in our human nature to complicate tings not to simplify them. I think that love at first sight is simply not 'trendy' anymore, especially in today's society when most people have more than one partner throughout their life, which kind of contradicts the viability of this concept.
If change is our only constant and if this principle also applies to our personal life, then love at first sight is simply superfluous. We can very well enjoy love at second, third or even forth sight with a person we haven't initially targeted for our romantic needs. We can even hate someone in the beginning because we weren't willing enough to know them and fall in love with them step by step as we discover who they really are.
In the end, just like in business, in love, we have to be open-minded, patient and consider all opportunities, and the expected results will come. Finding 'the one' is up to you and how much effort you're willing to put into it. Don't expect the universe to simply grant you effortless love.