Tonight, I come home so vexed, I cannot sleep. It's almost midnight. You turn the third time and ask if I want to talk about it. You know it's work, nothing else would make me so mad.
"Is it not that Sandra girl?" I blurt out almost in tears.
"Calm down Mami," pulling in closer, you rub my shoulder. "tell me what happened."
You know Sandra; I've told you about her – the incompetent girl that my boss employed because he's sleeping with her.
"So, we have to work on this project together for the next three months and the first two weeks have been hell!" I'm out of bed now, pacing as I talk, my lips and my hands trembling from annoyance.
You sit up and watch me, listening like I'm giving a lecture – you do that all the time.
"I mean, I have to do everything myself. Nothing! She doesn't know how to do anything! Simple report, simple accounting, Babe, nothing! Today was the worst; I almost got into trouble because of the rubbish figures she put out. Christ!" I slap my forehead, clenching my teeth.
"Breathe babe, just breathe." Your expressions are grim, but I know you are suppressing a laugh.
"And, you know the most annoying thing? I went to talk to the human being that hired her – told him I need a replacement. You won't believe it; the goat looked me in the face and said I should cover her lapses if I cared anything for my good reputation." I stop and stare at you, my eyes itchy, at the brink of pouring water.
You slide to the edge of the bed and draw me to yourself. Making me sit, you rub my shoulders slowly. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Babe, so sorry."
I sit there, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down – a massage always does me good. "Thank you." I force a smile.
"Did you talk to her?" You ask adjusting yourself on the bed, one leg dangling, and the other lying behind me.
"Who?!" I turn to look at you; I don't want to believe you are talking about Sandra.
You give me the look, tilting your head to the side.
"Sandra? Me! No?! I can't..." I'm about to go off again when you put your lips on my own.
Our faces luck in warm kisses, your hand lay gently on my face – for a second I forget about Sandra. You pull away slowly, smiling in accomplishment, "You taste like sugar Mami, hate should not be found in you."
I bury my face in my palms; you see right through me. The very mention of her name grates my nerves to no end.
You take my hands and put them on your cheeks. "I think she can learn if you can teach her."
I look away; I can't even stand the sight of the girl, and you are asking me to teach her? Why you like to do me like this?
"Yes, she shouldn't have been hired in the first place, but she was." You turn my face to look at you. "We have to deal with that, right?"
I feel defeated. Tears well up in my eyes, I throw my head back to stop them from falling out.
You put your hands around me and rub my back. "I do not take it as mere coincidence that she was assigned to work with you. You can help her, Babe, three months is a long time." You let me go and wipe the tears that escape from my eyes. "I've seen you help this kind of people when they come to church, see her like one of them. Yes?"
I don't speak, my tummy churns from conviction. I've been playing judge, never stopped for one second to see beyond her relationship with my boss. More tears pour from my eyes.
"Shh...shh... Don't do that, Babe, please don't." You pull me into yourself and stroke my hair.
You smell like peace, and forgiveness. You hold on to me till the tears stop. My anger had turned into repentance and compassion.
"It's almost 1am, we need to rest – you need to rest." You let me go and kiss my cheek softly. "Big day at work today, hm?" You smile and move over, gesturing for me to lie down.
"What are you thinking about?" You ask when I adjust my head on your chest again.
I laugh; I thought you were sleeping already. "I'm thinking how you've become such a Guidanian for me".