The Importance of Emotional Balance During A Crisis. Communication, Tone, NVC, Perspective, Clarity

I would like to share a little about what I've noticed happening during this crisis of Steem Vs Tron, in particular about having intense emotions and how they can alter our perceptions of what is happening. I believe this to be of utmost importance, and whilst I acknowledge and accept that we are very emotional about this situation, I would like to mention a few examples of why it is so important to keep our emotions in check, and find a way to work with them so that they don’t get in the way of making accurate assumptions and thereby productive decisions.

I have stated before that most conflicts we have in life can be avoided through good communication and a mood of empathy or compassion. A strong emotional reaction may preclude any compassion, especially if we feel we are being attacked, and there lies the problem. Even when faced with our greatest enemies we need to hold some empathy for them, because only then can we begin to interpret ad understand their actions with some clarity. When we are trying to work out why someone is behaving in a certain manner, we have to be very careful how we interpret their actions. If we are not careful how we respond we can end up doing much more harm than good! And so far I believe this to be the case with our reaction to JS's appearence. I am not criticising what we have done, but I am questioning the way and tone in which we have reacted (in general!). Just to be very clear...

I am not criticising what we have done, but I am questioning the way and tone in which we have reacted (in general!).

I would like to start with an example of the accusations levied at Binance as a case in point. At this time it is becoming clearer to many of us, including people like @aggroed, that Binance may not have colluded with Justin in the way many had assumed they had at the beginning. Many people were caught by paranoia and fear, and on the face of it, it did indeed look like JS had somehow managed to get Binance to work with him to power up their clients Steem on the exchange. This assumption led to a pretty intense and very public thrashing of Binance on Twitter and other social media, with blame and embarrassment to Binance. Now don’t get me wrong, from what i hear Binance are no angels, and they probably shouldn't have done it, but would they really be dumb enough to collude and risk so much money and embarrassment for their friend.. or were they tricked into supporting his actions? After listening to JS in the meeting with witnesses it seems the latter is the case, JS had informed them of a hack, and was not honest about what was happening.

Why did JS act like this? Did he buy Steemit Inc. to takeover the chain and centralise it for the communist party, and maybe kill it in the process? That is how we may think whilst we feel paranoid and in fear. That is what many people still do think im sure. OR, on the other hand, if we apply some empathy and emotional intelligence, was Justin not informed about the ninja mined stake in the first place? Was this all news to him, and did he even understand what Steem was!?

Those with a sceptical mindset would say YES< absolutely he knows. he knows exactly what Steem is, and he is manipulating us to fulfil his evil plan. However, those who are really watching, listening, and empathising will see things quite differently. The conversation that JS had with the witnesses was very revealing, and I believe told us enough to know what is really going on. From his perspective, a bunch of very angry people just colluded to take his money, millions of dollars of money, and he had no real understanding of what was going on. Listening to him speak, it was clear as day that Justin does not yet understand Steem.. and who can blame him!? It took me months, maybe years to get a firm grasp of some of the inns and outs of this system.. DO you really think Justin spent weeks or months playing on Steem to try to figure it out? I would say not, it is very evident that he does not understand what is going on. The very end of that meeting said it all to me! One of our Witnesses asked JS that if nothing else could he PLEASE get his witnesses to synch the Steem Price. His witnesses prices were not and still are not synchronised to the real price and that is a big problem for Steem. Justin clearly did not understand this, and asked the question back, "Oh, what should be the price then?!".. i mean, as if the price is static!

After listening to all of this, i realised pretty quickly that a lot of what has been going has been quite unnecessary and could have been resolved,... even before anything had happened, if we were able to communicate in a non-violent way (NVC), so that we could ensure that we understand the other side, and that the other side understands us. It isn’t that hard, and can make the difference between success and failure. Whilst NVC may not be able to solve all our problems, it sure would go a LONG way to giving us the best chance of avoiding them.

Empathy Helps Our Perspective

I would like to give one more example of how empathy can alter our perceptions of things. Many people called the actions of Justin a hostile takeover. On the face of it thats what it looked like. Many of us thought that Justin was a devious manipulator, and was lying about the hackers to make us look bad. Now lets take just a moment to look from his perspective. He has no idea whats really going on, and see all his millions of dollars get locked up. He called them hackers, maybe he knows they are not exactly hackers, but thats the best word he has to describe how he see's it.., and feeling very in the dark he's grappling to save his investment. SO, with this awareness we may see his actions from a different perspective and judge the situation differently.

My point here is we need to be careful. If we go all out publicly shaming Binance for a mistake Justin has made, we risk really hurting ourselves. What if, through our fear and anger, we end up alienating ourselves from all the exchanges? What if Steem is delisted because we are slandering people without having all our facts straight. When we say there has been a HOSTILE TAKEOVER, that does not accurately describe what is happening. It would have been better to describe it simple as a something else like a TAKEOVER.. or from JS's perspective a defensive takeover.

Steem is a bit like the wild west, which is one of the things i like about it. We don't have much in the way of formal structure, and anyone can go and post and proclaim whatever they wish. We are all representatives of Steem, unlike a modern day company where ONLY a few selected few may speak out publicly about anything. The obvious disadvantage of that is that is just takes a few people to start saying things that make us feel more fearful, and before we know it we are in a full scale war!

SO i urge you, please be careful. If your heart is full of fear, pain, hate, or anger then please acknowledge that feeling.. because in doing so we can be more cautious and ask more questions before making more accusations. ASKING MORE QUESTIONS is probably the best single piece of advice i can give to people who are sceptical of someone, because it gives us an opportunity to get more information and enter into a constructive dialogue. Asking questions means we are not hurling accusations. When we assign blame and judgement on others before we have taken the time and effort that is needed to learn the truth is very unproductive,, and even counterproductive.

It's time Breathe!

I know many of you will laugh and scoff at my final suggestion, but i hope one or two of you may not. If you are freaking out, its time to meditate. If that word scares you, or make you think that you are supposed to suddenly Zen out and feel good and stop thinking, that is not what is means. ALL it means to meditate is to sit, breath, and take some time to really sit with yourself and your feelings. Meditating means that you give some space to your emotions to exists.. you do not need to try to extinguish them, you just need to FEEL THEM. Giving ourselves time to really allow our feelings to come, to really witness them, feel them, and let them flow instead of resisting them or pushing them away means that we can integrate them, and think more clearly. How cool would it have been at the start of our MSP meetings if someone held space for us all to just STOP BEFORE WE START, and for us all to do a guided breathing exercise for just a few minutes! It might feel a little weird or strange at first, but once you've done it you will see how the difference in how you feel!

So in closing I would like to put a Mental Health reminder up.. Let us please all take care of our own mental health and emotions. Let us not become the people we are trying to stop, and let us work together with clarity and intelligence, both emotional and mental. Steem is in the public eye more than ever, and all people have to look at and judge us by is our posts and comments on all forms of media. Please let us not act like wild dogs, or soldiers. We are not at war here, let us not act like it. This is big business Crossing the unusual and unconventional world of blockchain and Steem. We can find our way through it, and we can do it peacefully and with our heads screwed on. I am SURE if we can do this we can take things forward in the best way for us all, whatever happens!



Comments 26

@eco-alex, In my opinion majority of Steemains travelled a Emotional Steem Journey so this situation brought so much Emotional Wind and Wave 🌊 on the Table.

But your points are absolutely true because once we shoot our words and those are received we cannot reverse it to most extent. So definitely we have to be calm, patient and most importantly as you said we have to ask Questions to ourselves to reach the point from where we are seeing a Balanced Conclusion from all the corners.

Have a great time ahead and stay blessed.

Posted using Partiko Android

05.03.2020 04:25

thanks! yes there are so many details that were not understood. Some people call JS's witness grab a hostile take over.. Whilst Justin calls us hackers..i think from His perspective that is how we seemed .. especially with his ignorance of how the Steem works..

As a wise man once said.. "
one man's terrorist is another mans freedom fighter"

thanks for your comment and re-steem @chireerocks !

05.03.2020 05:10

Welcome and your wise reflection is very much appreciated. Stay blessed.

06.03.2020 02:56

I am glad I am removed from it all. I enjoyed this perspective... empathy always best. 🙏

05.03.2020 06:11

It's troubling to see how quickly we collectively revert to name calling & insults. It's clear to me that this deadlock - exaccerbated by really poor communivatiin and (it wouod appear) poor fact checking & no basic trust - really can only be resolved now by superb, non-partisan face-toface mediation.

Polarisation is a hallmark of centralisation & people who need to follow.

Perhaps the other thing to add is that the very poor coomunicatiom about witnesses added fuel to the fire. On 15th Feb an orchestrated, calm, proactive & conatructive witness voting drive shoukd have been priority #1. Far more protective than the SF.

Thoughtful post from you today, Sir Alex. Appreciated.

05.03.2020 06:20

thank you.. madame<3

05.03.2020 08:43

You make outstanding posts!

05.03.2020 08:08

thank you Buddy! that really means a lot, very happy to hear you say this! xx

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05.03.2020 08:55

Funny I was thinking NVC is needed now more than ever over the last few days.

Some of the witnesses clearly know something about this approach, but many don't!

I agree entirely what you say about tone....

'Justin sun worked with exchanges to use private funds to take control of the Steem block chain'.

That's enough!

But what we've had is.... 'Justin Sun colluded with exchanges to use private funds without user's consent to enact a hostile take over of the Steem blockchain'.

The later's not even that strong, but it's worlds away from the former!

We need consensus on this urgently.

05.03.2020 10:14

glad im not alone! thanks for this comment, its hard to know if any / many people see things this way...

and YES, i was thinking the very same thing just today... im leaving in three days thank god.. lets get this ecoVillage on the road!! <3

05.03.2020 12:40

I don't think many people do, Justin Sun's latest steem post has some pretty strong comments going on.

I'm envious of you being out there in the real world, I've got a heavy work week this month!

05.03.2020 13:06

yeah i just SAW it.. the snarky accusations are not doing us any favours.. if people need to vent, they should hit their pillow.. at least until they have their facts straight!

05.03.2020 13:09

Yes, and on that note I need to walk away from this and go get some lunch.

Offline feels like a good place to be right now.

05.03.2020 13:12

i know that feelin! do it!

05.03.2020 13:12

NVC applied to blockchain ! Marshall is probably very happy, I am. What if Justin Sun 's needs and Witnesses needs are not compatibles ?

05.03.2020 13:58

we all have the same needs.. we just have to hear them, understand what they really are.. but whilst we blame, attack we will never know!

05.03.2020 14:00

Communication is the key to EVERY relationship. The communication of the Steem/Steemit interaction has been piss poor at best for the past 4 years. If anything, this whole experience is FORCING there to be communication. Big questions have to be answered that have been left hanging for the existence of the chain. Now is the existential crisis that allows us the chance to make some changes that have been long needed.We just need calm and rational people to be doing the debating.

Emotions lead to war, Logic leads to peace!

05.03.2020 22:58

thanks flemingfarm. i wish we had a councilor sometimes.. i think we need a steem therapist really .. bit like councillor Troy on Startrek.. keep us on an even keel! lol

06.03.2020 02:47

We should always be civil, particularly publicly, particularly in a war for hearts and minds.
Binance didn't just power up their customers' stake, they used/proxied the witness votes, and they still haven't powered down.
If I buy a bus ticket to go to New York and the driver turns off towards Las Vegas instead, I have every right to complain; and I'm going to take some time to try and work out what's going on.
I'm not going to assume the driver's trying to kidnap me, and try to wrestle him out of his seat, to drive the bus to New York myself.
I don't know anything about driving a bus and I'm going to crash it.

05.03.2020 23:40

Great perspective. There’s lots of pitchforks and things quick to assume it’s war. Stepping back and thinking about the situation is important, so we can let cooler minds make rational choices. Who knows what really happened, if JS was as ignorant as can be, and who knows what Ned the snake said. We need to figure out the path forward now to see what needs to happen.

06.03.2020 01:56

thanks for your comment.. i think well never really know, esp since most of it is under an NDA.. i trust ned less than JS.. esp with the abuse weve given him over the years.. that in itself is proof of how being really abusive really doesnt help in the long term.. If we had been a bit more civil with him over the years, and found a way to communicate our issues without berating him into the ground, maybe he wouldnt have sold us out!

06.03.2020 02:45

Great thoughts! What the steem community should do from now on, take it easy on the TONE!

07.03.2020 03:32

Thank you for the great article. I do agree that emotional reactions would not help solving the issues.

07.03.2020 14:01

This post is so spot on and I really felt like including it in the Natural Medicine curation rounds. How we think about things affects our health. Practicing healthy communication focusing on empathy and peaceful interactions is a type of medicine that not only maintains our own wellbeing, but that of the community. ~ @agiftoflove

If you like what we do, consider delegation or following our curation trail on Steemauto. All are welcome to join us on Discord.
08.03.2020 06:24