10 essential Halloween movies for Turbo Virgin viewing pleasure.

Today, I'm going to be going over a little list of what I consider some top tier Halloween movie viewing for you sweet baby boi's and girls. Unless you're an anti vaxxer soccer mom or a flat earther. If you fall into one of those, you can probably just go find some nightmare fuel watching injection videos on Youtube or reading through NASA's website. For the rest of you, just keep reading. I've compiled this little list for anyone in need of a good horror/Halloween movie to watch for the rest of this spooky season. Some of these films are not Halloween themed but still horror, and vice versa. Because I'm not some micro dicked pussy who can only see in 2D because his waifu is there. The goal here is for you guys to find a good movie to watch, whether that be Halloween themed or just a flat out creature feature that induces extra centimeters being added to your penis. 

But, anyways, lets get into the movies. 

1. Night of the Demons

Synopsis:  Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell. 

My thoughts: A very fun/odd B horror movie. Genre wise it's basically a Halloween slasher film that has a lot of entertaining value. Lots of laughs to be had here, with some pretty good effects. Definitely a throwback to times when slasher films could be gory, yet still fun and entertaining. You know, instead of the typical dark, gritty, generic, stinky ass we typically get these days with horror films. If you were a fan of the older Friday the 13th series films, you'll probably dig this. 

2. The Guest

Synopsis:  A soldier introduces himself to the Peterson family, claiming to be a friend of their son who died in action. After the young man is welcomed into their home, a series of accidental deaths seem to be connected to his presence. 

My thoughts: The Guest is definitely one of my favorite films to watch during October, though it's certainly one of the least horror themed movies that will be on this list. Genre wise, it is mostly an action/thriller with some horror elements sprinkled in. (You'll definitely feel some Halloween/The Terminator vibes throughout.) I've recommended this movie before, and I'm sure I will again and again. A good way to describe this movie is imagine Captain America, but instead of being a Patriotic, good hearted man, he's just absolutely fucking nuts. I love the soundtrack for this movie, the writing is very entertaining, the actors give great performances and the cinematography is fairly well done. Definitely one of the more recommended movies to make your nipples hard. 

3. Re-Animator

Synopsis:  After an odd new medical student arrives on campus, a dedicated local and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue.

My Thoughts: This film is probably one of the better known films on this list. Re-animator has had a huge impact on pop culture over the years, and has gained a massive cult status since its release. Genre wise, it's a comedy/horror movie, much in a similar vein to the Evil Dead series. Definitely an over the top B-movie that is entertaining as hell. This is done thanks to the tightly written characters and actors who do a great job. The effects for this movie definitely have not aged well, but the movie is well done and the pacing is solid. Plus, this is the only movie I can think of where a severed head goes full on Bill Cosby. I definitely recommend this gory cult classic. 

4. From Beyond

Synopsis:  A pair of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms 

My Thoughts: Some of you who were already fans of Re-animator might know this film, but I'll assume most fans and people in general haven't really heard of this movie. This was brought to us by the same team basically that was involved with Re-animator, and is another loosely based HP Lovecraft story. However, this movie is even better, in my opinion. It's a step up in the effects department, the lighting and way it was shot is gorgeous and the overall just feels like an improvement. Especially if you find yourself getting wet dreams over weird shit, cause there's plenty of weird shit in this film. I would really recommend doing a double feature with Re-animator if you're going to watch this, as I just think it's best viewed that way. 

5. Trick 'r Treat

Synopsis:  Interwoven stories demonstrate that some traditions are best not forgotten as the residents of a small town face real ghosts and goblins on Halloween. 

My Thoughts: This movie is probably the epitome of a good Halloween themed horror movie. I can't think of another that would top this one out for an essential viewing. I mean, I guess maybe seeing Diva from Overwatch doing fart porn would be more essential, but let's not go down that spooky hole. This movie goes through an anthology of different stories that end up connected, and while it's a mix of all kinds of sub-genres of horror, it works so fucking well. I have watched this movie every October for the past 5 years, and will continue to do so until I've finally drowned myself in the toilet from how ridiculous the god damn world is. Have you guys heard about Kylie Jenner trademarking the words Rise and Shine? Sweet lord, I want to die. every year until I'm an ooold man. The writing, acting, atmosphere and everything about this film are very well done. Definitely saying watch this shit for Halloween, pussies. 

6. Satan's Little Helper

Synopsis:  A naive young boy unknowingly becomes the pawn of a serial killer. 

My Thoughts: I would say this movie is probably the most shlock filled film on this list by far. It's a super low budget comedy horror movie, and I went into it not expecting much. However, it was one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in the past few months. I got a lot of laughs from the ridiculous shit going on in this movie, and I absolutely had to have it on here. This falls into the slasher category, though it's definitely more of a comedy than your normal slasher films. Surprisingly, it had a pretty good little cast of mostly unknown actors that do a pretty good job. Effect wise it's pretty middle of the road. It's not at the golden standard of a horribly timed youtube video of faking talking to a dead celebrity at 3am. But, if you just want something absurd to laugh at this Halloween, this would probably be your best bet. 

7. Halloween III

Synopsis: Kids all over America want Silver Shamrock masks for Halloween. Doctor Daniel Challis seeks to uncover a plot by Silver Shamrock owner Conal Cochran. 

My Thoughts: Halloween 3 is probably the most controversial thing to put on this list, as it pissed off a whole fanbase upon its release. I personally think this film has been shit on far more than it deserves, and that it's actually a fairly well done Halloween themed horror film. You might be asking why it was shit on, and I'll give you the short version. The idea was to turn it into an anthology series with each movie being it's own story of Halloween terror. However, John Carpenter kinda fucked that up a bit with writing Halloween II instead of just letting it stop with the first movie. People were shocked to find out there was no Michael Myers in this movie, and basically dropped their pants and ripped ass into the eyes of each other out of pure nerd rage. Truly some tragic shit. Anyways, this movie has a very entertaining/interesting premise with good performances and lots of good atmosphere. Another banger of a Halloween film. 

8. Creepshow

Synopsis:  An anthology which tells five terrifying tales based on the E.C. horror comic books of the 1950s. 

My thoughts: Another great horror anthology series that had some very entertaining tales to be told. There's also a single shot of a Jack O Lantern in the film, thereby allowing me to skirt by being a disgusting fraud and including it on this list, baby. Lots of fun to be had with this film, as it was written by Stephen King with George Romero at the helm of directing. They also brought in an absolute legend for the effects/make up in Tom Savini who has done loads of incredible work. Some of the stories are better than others, but this movie overall is just entertaining and has aged well over the years. Clearly, a lot of love went into this movie, otherwise it could have been a real stinker. You know, like that movie Terrifier, which fucking sucked. I would have rather watched a clown smash his genitals with rocks in front of a crowd of children.

9. Mad Monster Party

Synopsis:  When Dr Frankenstein decides to retire from the monster-making business, he calls an international roster of monsters to a creepy convention to elect his successor. Everyone is there including Dracula, The Werewolf, The Creature, Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde and many more. But Frankenstein's title is not all that is at stake. The famous doctor has also discovered the secret of total destruction that must not fall into the wrong hands. 

My Thoughts: Oh, you're surprised? Thought I could only pop a fat boner over horror movies like some kind of fucking loser? That's right, I can clap cheeks hard with a movie like Mad Monster Party. This is the oldest movie on the list, coming from the late 60's. This stop motion animated film is a nice little tucked away secret that I had only heard about recently. While being kinda clunky, it's definitely a very cute film that has a lot of entertainment value. This one would work fine to distract any kids you have while you're butt chugging pumpkin spiced Natty Light in the kitchen, but also is pretty good for adults to check out. At times it's pretty damn absurd and goofy, but that's what makes it a lot of fun. If you want something more light hearted to rub your nipples to this year, this would be it. 

10. Ginger Snaps

Synopsis:  Two death-obsessed sisters, outcasts in their suburban neighborhood, must deal with the tragic consequences when one of them is bitten by a werewolf. 

My Thoughts: The final film on this list is a very interesting horror film I saw quite a few years ago. It's probably a bit of a theme in itself that most of the horror films on this list tend to be on the more funny/comedic side, and this movie is in there as well. There's a lot of satire and just silly shit going on in this movie, but it mixes pretty well with the horror elements. It goes about the werewolf mythology in an interesting way, and is fairly smart with how it handles thing. The cast does a good job with the writing, and the only thing I wasn't huge on was the actual werewolf effects towards the end. While not my favorite Werewolf film, it's probably the most fitting considering the setting is right around Halloween in the movie. I still really enjoy this film and would recommend it to anyone who digs werewolves or just a smart/funny horror flick. 

Alright, you god damn sodomites. There's your horror movie list for this Halloween. Guaranteed to send shivers down the spines of all 9 year old children. That's an achievement, right? I mean, the only thing spookier than this list would be waking up to Criss Angel floating over your bed with his soft cock out. Thank god he's not around to freak out my mind these days. Anyways, I hope you guys found a movie or two to watch throughout the rest of the month. I was going to have this out a bit sooner, but I'll be honest, I have been sick as fuck recently to the point where I thought about going to the hospital a few times. But, fuck it, I feel better today. So, I guess it was about time for a fat orgasm steemit post, right? 

Alright, until next time, slutterbutts. Let me know if you check out any of this films! 

Comments 11

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23.10.2019 21:21

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23.10.2019 21:52

I keep seeing Gingersnaps everywhere and I have YET to give it a chance. Maybe this weekend.

24.10.2019 01:03

Yeah, it's a really solid werewolf film. Check it out if you have the spare time, dood. The only ones I would say I like a bit better are The Howling and Dog Soldiers, though Ginger Snaps is more appropriate for Halloween viewing. Hence why I tossed it into this list.

24.10.2019 01:11

on Halloween 3, i agree entirely. I had fond memories of the season of the witch and also think the movie gets poo poo'd entirely too much just because Mike wasn't in it.

I can still see that damn flashing screen.

There are plenty of things on here i've never seen, i had to write a bunch of them down. I would be willing to get they aren't on Netflix so i may have to fire up the ol' 1337x

24.10.2019 03:35

Oh, 100 percent. I really kinda feel like they just fucked themselves with a studded codpiece on that idea as soon as they made John Carpenter write a screenplay for Halloween 2. Even to this day I see people getting pissy pants about it because it has no Myers in it, shit is ridiculous.

Yeah, I don't use Netflix or Hulu or anything like that typically because most of the content is not good on those platforms. Thankfully, I got in on a private torrent site which has been super nice. I think with 1337 or RARBG you should be able to find pretty much all of these though.

If you run through those and want a few more, just let me know. Originally I had 20 movies for this list, but cut it in half just because there wasn't much time left for the old spooky season, and I thought the post would be kinda overstuffed with that many films.

24.10.2019 03:43

yeah, you could always make a part 2. it was already too long for the short attention span of most users on here. I did read it all though, and actually bookmarked it for future reference because I know i am going to forget most of that. :P

24.10.2019 03:47

Ah, I have a simple solution for that. Simply start snorting K2 and your brain will expand into ways never thought imaginable and allow you to have the perfect memory of where you can acquire more K2 and knives for robbing people to fuel your K2 addiction.

Appreciate you reading the post all the way through though <3

24.10.2019 06:52

Thank you for the list! I have been looking for it and found a good one.

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24.10.2019 05:34

No worries!

24.10.2019 06:48

Muy buena lista, la verdad me gustan mucho las películas de terror, son mis favoritas. Buscare el tiempo de ver a Creepshow, me llamó mucho la atención por la sinopsis.

24.10.2019 14:42