A mad man tale (I)


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Hell. This is how I can describe how it feels to be in my head, never alone, always in the company of many people. Much has been touched on the subject in series, movies and other media, making this disorder a fashion, something cool; when it really is a real curse, you are not able to have a moment of peace, always pretending something that you are not before family, friends and colleagues, or rather something that you do not know if you are, something that you create based on the normal behavior that you can see in others, a mask of sanity.

Always with the fear of collapsing and doing something that ends up hurting someone else or yourself, you don't know how long you can keep control, especially on the worst days where everyone who lives in your head screams and fights "for taking control ": the murderous psychopath, the sad depressive man, the fearful child, the protective and loving father, the hardworking and honest man, the thief, the master of the self-confident, the irritable misanthrope, the boy who only wants be invisible and disappear ... all of them and many more, all of them different, all coexisting in your mind at the same time.

The mere existence becomes a nightmare, a prison from which you do not know how to escape, just the time comes when you do not know which of them you really are, so that you only wander insane without identity, an empty vessel, an entity without purpose ...


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